These Things I'll Never Say
by Sofia-Puffergirl
Summary: RollxMegaman oneshot. This is a song fic centered around an Avril Lavigne song by the same title. To be perfectly honest the one line in the Chorus (I want to see you go down on one knee) is a little stronger than the emotion I'm trying to get across. But other than that my story logic is solid! (I think). You should read it and let me know what you think. I love input!


Hey-o! I'm writing this because I don't want to work on homework. Hopefully it will be short and sweet, make sense, and be a quick write. Let's find out. The setting is an afternoon, afterschool, and the whole gang is chilling at Yai's place. Woohoo! Also, I have no idea what is up with the spacing.

"Talking"

_Roll's thoughts in first person-ness! _

Story time!

Lan slung his bookbag off forcefully and jumped back onto the couch. Dex mimicked his action but jumped back up a moment later to get some snacks. Maylu, who is at this moment dating Lan, sat next to Lan on the couch and pulled out her math textbook. Tory popped his head up into the tree house and climbed in. He pulled Yai's hands to help her up the rest of the way.

"Thank you Tory!"

"Maylu, I can't believe you are working on homework already; we haven't even netbattled yet!" Lan complained.

"Well I'd rather pass my test tomorrow than beat you in a battle" Maylu mocked.

"You would so not beat me in a battle." Lan said rolling his eyes. Maylu whispered something in his ear that caused him to turn beet red. "While that's true it doesn't necessarily mean that you would..!" Lan stuttered. Maylu laughed.

"Well Lan since you are obviously itching for a fight, how about me verses you!" Dex demanded setting a box of nachos on the table. Lan stood up confidently.

"Okay, me and you it is!"

"I guess that's my cue" Megaman shook his head and offered a apologetic smile to Roll who was sitting next to him. She returned to him a sheepish gaze. Her head was bowed lightly so he couldn't see her eyes once he stood.

"I'll be here" She said quietly.

[I'm tuggin' at my hair, I'm pullin' at my clothes I'm tryin' to keep my cool, I know it shows]

Roll's normally exuberant persona was nowhere to be found at the moment. Megaman raised an eyebrow to the demure version of his friend still sitting on the floor? He dissipated as he was jacked into Yai's netbattle arena. Roll watched the battle in boredom. Gustman held on longer than he should have, so Roll concluded that Megaman obviously wanted the battle to last longer than a minute. The spare was entertaining at some points. Because Gutsman was too sluggish to be able to handle a fast sword swipe kind of match, Megaman used no battlechips except the sparsely used Area Steele. Eventually the running in circles and occasional good punches wore Gutsman out to a point where he fell over.

"I feel that Gutsman could have won eventually if we got his stamina up." Lan commented innocently

"Shut up! We won't lose next time. You'll see" Dex defended automatically. When he realized Lan's tone he was embarrassed form the outburst, "But you know man, that was actually a great battle"

Lan smiled and shot him a thumbs up.

"We need more people in our group. Battling each other has gotten _so_ boring over the years" Yai announced.

[I'm starin' at my feet, my cheeks are turnin' red I'm searchin' for the words inside my head]

In the virtual world Megaman and Gutsman rematerialized. They gave each other a handshake before going to sit down. Megaman noticed Roll still seemed to be bothered. At this point she had taken her helmet off and was incessantly braiding a small chunk of it, running her finger through the braid, and starting over. Megaman squatted beside her and she didn't look up. "Are you alright?" He asked concerned as he took a seat on the floor beside her. She bit her lip. The answer was obvious: No.

[I'm feelin' nervous Tryin' to be so perfect 'Cause I know you're worth it You're worth it, yeah]

_ You know you are perfect? I'm not. How could I possibly be alright. Everyday I get the chance to talk to you, hang out with you, hug you. These are things other girls would kill for. And, I'm sorry to be so selfish: It's just not enough. I want you. I need you. Okay.. need is obsessively strong. I... I like you... like a _lot._ Why don't you know what's wrong. It is SO obvious you are the highlight of my day. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap but... God you have pretty eyes. Why do you have such beautiful eyes. _

"Roll?"

"Huh, did you say something?"

"What's wrong"

[If I could say what I want to say I say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight?]

_I just want you to hold me. Wrap me in your arms right now and hold me. Forever. You know when you give me a hug before we go home and you let go and you look into my eyes for just a second. Is it possible that that is something you want too. I know that you like me, but I don't know how much. Would you like to maybe date me? And we could... deepen this relationship. I want to be with you. I've wanted that forever. Oh Megaman, you just don't understand. _

"I... uh.." Roll started

pIf I could say what I want to see: I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Guess I'm wishin' my life away, With these things I'll never say]

_Or you do understand? You see what Lan and Maylu have. You watched them go through it all just like I did. It's so wonderful. They always made each other so happy. Now, they've acknowledged it and make each other even happier. It could be the same for us. You make me so happy that I want to cry sometimes. Does this dancing around our feelings not drive you crazy? _

[It don't do me any good, it's just a waste of time What use is it to you what's on my mind?]

_We would literally make the most perfect couple ever. Why are boys so stupid. Why am I so stupid? Why can't I just say this to you? "Hey Megaman, I like you a lot." I could totally leave out the part where I've already planned out our wedding down to every mundane detail that will never come true. I wonder if he's a good kisser. Oh no. What does _that_ look mean?_

"Roll, you seem awfully distracted today." Megaman remarked. "Are you in philosophical mode again?" Megaman laughed. Roll raised an eyebrow.

[If it ain't comin' out, we're not goin' anywhere. So why can't I just tell you that I care?]

"I'm just thinking"

"So you aren't ignoring my question?"

"I'm thinking of an answer to it."

"You shouldn't have to do that. That means you're trying to hide something from me"

Roll gasped and put a hand to her chest in mock offense. "I would never do that..." She trailed off.

['Cause I'm feelin' nervous, Tryin' to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it, You're worth it, yeah]

_I really want this awkward conversation to be over. I am not going to say what I'm thinking which is what you want to here. But I can't stop thinking about it long enough to have an actually conversation with you. Come see me tomorrow when I've decided for certain that things aren't going to change. _

Roll smiled courageously, "No, really. I'm fine"

[If I could say what I want to say: I say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight?]

Megaman made a noise of dissatisfaction as he dissipated again and into the battle arena. Chaud, apparently, had shown up, and Protoman was standing across from him.

Roll threw her back and ran her fingers through it. _I've got to look happy when Megaman gets back._ She practiced smiling to herself. Glyde threw her an awkward look. She laughed. _Or maybe I could try actually being happy._

"Hey Glyde" She began. "Have you ever noticed the weird thing Iceman's nose does when he wiggles his eyes?"

"No Miss Roll, I can not say I know what you are talking about..." Glyde confessed

"I don't even know what she's talking about!" Iceman exclaimed.

"When you wiggle your eyebrows your nose like... twerks, or something" Roll informed him laughing.

"What there is no way that is true!" Iceman protested. He then pretended to turn to a "sexy babe" as he later called it, which was actually the arm of the couch, to practice the aforementioned eyebrow wiggle. Glyde and Roll watched and burst out laughing.

"Isn't it the greatest thing?" Roll asked

[If I could say what I want to see: I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Yes, I'm wishing my life away. With these things I'll never say]

By the time Megaman's other spar was over, Glyde, Roll, and Iceman were engaged in a full on discussion about awkward facial habits.

"A really weird one is what Roll's face does when Megaman walks up" Iceman practically shouted as Megaman approached the group. Roll went ash white until Megaman leaned forward and whipsered "Boo!" In her ear. She lunged herself forward to latch on the Glyde in the most comical display of reflexes the group had ever whitened.

"Calm down Roll!" Megaman admonished grabbing her from Glyde and pulling her close to him possessively.

The new color on Roll's face was just as humorous as the one before to Iceman and Glyde. Even Protoman was smirking.

Roll pushed herself off of Megaman and logged out to seclusion.

[What is wrong with my tongue? These words keep slippin' away]

When the shock of Roll's actions wore off Megaman began freaking out.

"I didn't mean to make her mad at me" Megaman gushed. 'I just figured if she wanted to be held; I'd rather be the one holding her' He thought.

"Why don't you go talk to her" Iceman suggested

"I was trying to talk to her earlier. She was bothered about something. I'm also scared she'll be mad at me for invading her privacy. Should I just wait for awhile?"

[I stutter, I stumble. Like I've got nothin' to say]

_Oh my gosh! Why did I just disappear. I was literally just talking to myself about how much I wanted him to hold me. And he was holding me! And then I ran away? Why would I do that? Well it was a little weird with everyone staring... and I wanted to stay there but he would have had to let me go eventually anyways. So that would have been awkward._

_ Aw but now were going to have to talk about this later. And reasons, and feelings, and blech! What could I say to distract you from my bizarre behavior all afternoon? Oh shoot here you come now! _

_ Oh no! What does my hair look like?!_

['Cause I'm feelin' nervous, Tryin' to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it, You're worth it, yeah]

"Roll! Oh my goodness are you okay?" Megaman asked as soon as he entered her homepage.

"Um... yes!" Roll said cheerily. "Why wouldn't I be?" "You ran off without saying anything! I was so worried you were upset about something" He breathed a sigh of relief. "They were only teasing you know."

"Oh of course!" Roll laughed. "I didn't like run away from embarrassment or something like that. What? No! We were all having fun. I just forgot about... something"

Megaman starred incredulously at her as she rambled. "Oh... well that's great then! What had you forgotten to do?"

Roll's eyes narrowed in annoyance. '_Now what genius!' _she thought sharply to herself. "Oh I just had to call and confirm Maylu's doctor's appointment for Thursday and they close at five so I wanted to get that done... before five..." Roll lie ended limply. _Oh shoot I actually do have to do that. _

"Well, I'm very relieved to know you are okay" Megaman smiled.

_Your smile is so dreamy. _

[Yes, I'm wishing my life away But these things I'll never say]

_Wow. Okay so clearly you care a lot about me. But really, if you do like me why can't you just say so. You ARE the guy after all. I don't even know what I could say to get us going in that direct. I suppose things can just stay as they are until you come to your sense. Unless I'm totally off base, and you _don't_ like me. Please don't let that be the case._

[If I could say what I want to say: I say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight?]

"It's okay, I mean Lan and Maylu were leaving anyways. They got that... date tonight." Megaman felt awkward as he said it.

"Oh they're in your PET Maylu!" Lan suddenly exclaimed.

"I wonder what they're doing alone in there!" Maylu said suspiciously

"What!" Roll began startled. "We weren't doing anything! I just got off the phone with the doctor!" Roll's defensive reaction got a chuckle from the human half of the group.

"It's okay dear; we were on our way anyways!" Maylu insisted.

When Maylu and Lan climbed down from the elaborate tree house, Maylu returned her attention to her navi. "You know. Since dates are generally a private thing could you two just hang out while Lan and I are together, and if you promise not to listen in, we'll promise not to tease you two about the alone time you'll be forced to have together." Maylu offered

"Hey! I didn't agree to no teasing Megaman. This is priceless blackmail right here!" Lan argued.

Maylu shot him a glare, "Lan I'd really like the confidence of not having our navi's spy on our first date!"

"Maylu! You think we'd do that?" Roll groaned her offense.

"Yeah, just a little" Maylu laughed

"Roll and I will comply" Megaman settled the negotiation for the other two.

"Excellent!" Maylu smiled.

[If I could say what I want to see: I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Yes, I'm wishing my life away. But these things I'll never say]

"Okay so back to what we were talking about earlier." Megaman began.

"What?" Roll seemed genuinely confused.

"You're upset about something. Now you're trying to hide it from me"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Not even!'

"So even!"

"No. Megaman I'm-"

"Don't you dare say fine." The look in Megaman's eyes killed any desired Roll had of trying to play Megaman "Don't lie to me."

"I don't... know what you want me to say"

"Well I definitely don't want you to say what you think I want to hear. I want to know what is actually wrong. I want to make you happy again."

Roll defenses were down. All of them. There was no way she could pass off this opportunity. _I don't want to say it first._

[These things I'll never say.]

"But nothing is wrong"


End file.
